so today I went out at 10am to do a grad photoshoot for a friend
then came back home at 4:30 and proceeded to cry alone for a good half hour. (((I know, I know)))
my friend's dad completely ruined my day holy fucking shit man. first of all he made everyone stand in the most boring conventional poses ever (completely pissing all over the artistic image that I'm going for, which is why this set definitely won't be posted publicly) and second of all HE KEPT. FUCKING. RUSHING ME. if I didn't take pictures fast enough he'd start saying 'click click click' and he kept asking if we were done yet. so the pictures are forced looking and/or they're not quite in focus sometimes because I was so tightly wound the whole time and I wasn't able to concentrate on what I was doing. IAHGFDGHDFJNFRD STOP YELLING AT ME TO TAKE PICTURES I HAVE TO FOCUS YOU PRICK.
as if that wasn't enough pressure he also wanted to see EVERY GODDAMN PICTURE I TOOK. LIKE FOUR TIMES EACH. complete with lovely commentary like 'that one's okay' and 'yeah alright'.
he wouldn't let anyone do cute, candid type photos. no silly faces or poses. and I had hell to pay if I shot him at a slight angle because he hates his goddamn nose. also we could only take pictures in the house because it was cold. two out of the four people I was photographing wouldn't even put in the effort to SMILE. ARE YOU SHITTING ME. how am I supposed to work with you if you won't even provide me with basic grounds to start with??
I was just shaking and being awkward the whole time because I was so nervous and stressed. I get anxiety really easily, but absolutely resenting doing something that I love and want to do for a living was completely new to me and I HATED it. I hated the atmosphere, I hated the way I was treated and I hated all of the pictures.
I'm 17 for frick sakes. I'm a beginner, I'm learning, and I'm probably at the most unstable point in my life right now. I'm trying to earn enough money to survive school in a city 14 hours away from my family come August, alone for the first time and not knowing anybody at all. oh yeah, by the way this whole ordeal was for a measly 50$.
it's going to sound like I'm overreacting but I'm such a stressed person that is normally so passionate about photography, that this whole day just knocked me a couple steps back. I've never been treated like an artist before. like a professional. I'm always treated like a tool - people get all uppity when I expect to be paid the tiny amount of money I ask for, and instead of appreciating my artistic integrity, my style, they expect me to give them beautiful products with little to no freedom to do so.
SO THE LESSON HERE is never let yourself be underpaid for your art or service, and you DO NOT need to deal with people's shit. if you have a client that wants you to lower your prices, or doesn't treat you with respect - DUMP EM. you don't need to have that, there will be other people that are reasonable and easy to get along with that come along. those asshats aren't worth your time and won't make a difference in the long run. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE PUSHED AROUND. YOU are the artist, and YOU dictate how things go. if someone can't accept that, they can move right along.
stay true to yourself, and don't let people step all over you! be a door, not a doormat. >v<b
sorry for freaking out, it's just something that really affected me emotionally and creatively.
TILL NEXT TIME MES CHERIES~~~ <33